Sweet is the Work

What do job fair, job shadowing, and MUN conference all have in common? Put together, they all mean zero 8th and 9th graders at school. Which also means I have ZERO classes to teach! Which means an easy, relaxing day at the job. I spent my hours next door engaged in a wicked game of Phase Ten, that I won. Ok, in all honesty, I had about 20 students throughout the day but we just chilled and they even played with us. Treats were brought and a good time was had. Sometimes the work of a teacher can really be overloading. But then there are the days when I can write blogs while at "work". I love being a teacher.

I'm too good for this!

I recently discovered that I am too good for many things in this world, namely soccer, ice, ward activities, and "skip-it". This came about when I was looking for a place for Whitney and I to live in. We found a really nice place in Pleasant Grove that was modestly priced but it turned out that I made too much money to live there. I'm just not part of the crowd that they want. I made about $300 too much and the ironic part was that I would actually save more money if I requested that the distrcit pay me less for teaching so I could live in low-income housing. But that's only if you do the math. Anyway, recently I went applying for a summer job at a pest control center looking for sprayers. They just did a job fair at UVSC (I saw Megan there) and were hosting several interview. Not only was the man 40 minutes late, but didn't know what to ask me. There were several times where we just sat there and I wasn't sure if I should get up and leave. Not the brightest firefly, I guess. Well, it's been several days with no phone call so I am guessing that being graduated, having a math-teaching job, and being an all-around genius, I was over-qualified. Sweet! ( I am well aware that I started a sentence with 'well' and that is bad. But if you're not down with that, I got two words for ya...)

You Better Get Me First

I made all of my students raise their right hands and promise to never bring a gun to school. I also told them that if they do, they better come and take me out first, otherwise, I'll be coming after them (sorry babe). It makes me so mad to hear about how cowards are making all the headlines these days. The only hero stories I've heard was about the proffessor who nobly defended his students, and that came by word of mouth. I listen to the news on the radio during my commutes and never heard a thing about it. By the way, the media got the story all wrong. They said something about the killer being described as a 23 year-old Korean man. Not even close. The individual who went into that school was not a man. He was a little piece of chicken$#*&. I refuse to be put in the same human category as him. There was neither responsibility nor accountability involved. If you want to be brave, go on a shooting rampage at a military base. And you know what, media? I don't want to hear that sick bastards voice or see his devil face so get it OFF the tv and internet. I'm pissed tht Yahoo! homepage had his picture as the headline. Let's give some airtime to people who deserve it. Like off-duty police officers or sefless instructors.

UFC Vs WWF

Whitney and I went to Wingers (bottomless wings) the other day and we were seated right in front of the tv. It was forced to a channel containing kick-boxing matches. I watched them for a minute, and let me tell you something, it was drop dead boring. These guys had no motif, zero crowd appeal, no electricity, and every ten seconds or so, the referee would separate them and they would have to start all over. At the end, JUDGES decided who won the match. This got me to thinking about Ultimate Fighting Champion as well. Some people Rick think that the UFC is great because it is real. I guess as in they don't know who the winner is beforehand. I'm sorry, but to watch people seriouslt beat each other up seems a little crude and barbaric to me. What are we, flaming Romans? Plus, it's very slow to watch and a match I did see involved them laying on top of each other and every few seconds the guy on top would punch the guy on bottom. wow. If that is what's called "real" then send me to the Land of the Wuzzles. Then there is the WWF (Wilderness Wildlife foundation be damned!). These stars can get a crowd for or against them at their whim. They command the fans and put the "awe" in audience.
They are funny, fit, and fantastic performers. They perform amazing feats of strength (I refer you to the video at the top) and agility. Give me the Rock and HHH, now there is a match I could watch for 20 minutes. Hardy Boys vs Edge & Christian. You better believe you'll see some chair shots and fantastic stunts performed with ladders. Some people say wrestling is fake. They are stupid. It's as real as anything you watch on tv. In fact, the proof that it is more real than some shows comes from the fact that that fairie is still on American Idol. These stars perform up to three times a week in a grueling 10-20 minute match that is physically demanding and draining. I once did a five minute talent show where we wrestled and I was completely exhausted at the end. They are in shape, perform remarkably, and hype it all up with exciting and comical monologues. If you can't appreciate the work they do for the fans, then you are either a communist or a soccer fan.

Lay, Lady, Lay...

This past friday, we moved Whitney into our new unfurnished apartment. On saturday, with the help of her sister and husband (the sisters' not Whitneys'), we drove up to Murray to get our first brand new piece of furniture. We got it from a Lady whose business strore excess pieces from a furniture store and she sells them at wholeslae value. Example: $5000 mattress goes for $1500. We loaded up and drove back home where we commenced to make it come together, right now, over me. What was it, well, if you thought "big brass bed" you would have been really close and a Bob Dylan fan. But I regret to inform that it was a big oak bed. The first thing in the apartment (in my view) also happened to be the most important. I mean, you need a good nights sleep, right? If you are wondering, we got the bed, two mattresses, dresser, and mirror for the low price of $1200. It's a great deal. If any of you want the number, this lady sells furniture for every room. Now, if you'll excuse me. I'm gonna run over to the new apartment with Whitney so we can try out our new furniture.

Wow! What a deal!

I was recently at Del Taco with Whitney (I know, we go a lot of places together). As I was standing in line to order, I saw a huge poster advertising one of their new promotions. In giant letters, it let me know that I could buy five chicken soft tacos for just $3.95. "Wow!", I thought to myself. Maybe I want five chicken soft tacos for just under four bucks. Ever the math calculator, I glanced up at the menu to get the base price of a single chicken soft taco to see how much money I would save by being so smart. There it was. "CHICKEN SOFT TACO.........$.79". I had to check my math again. So one taco is 79 cents... if I get five tacos at 79 cents... that's just 5 times 79... carry the decimal over two spaces... wait! That can't be right. What!?! In case you haven't already calculated in your head, 5 times .79 equals 3.95! What a deal! No, wait. What friggin' morons! Either they are so dumb that they are thinking "Yeah. That'll save them some money." or they think WE are so dumb we'll think "Wow! I'd be a fool NOT to buy them in a 5 taco package." Well, not today buddy! It's almost as bad as going to a dollar store to see a sale sign saying "Clearance. Two for 2 Dollars". Since I refuse to become party to idiots, I avoided the chicken soft taco altogether and went for the deluxe combo burrito and a macho taco. Yeah! Nice try! You ain't pulled the wool over on this one!

Ms. Pac-Man. In it for the money.

Whitney and I recently visited the nickel arcade in orem for a few hours of leisure arcadia. I endulged in GAUNTLET, soundly defeating the red dragon. Together we manged to clear out a portion of AREA 51 and make fools of ourselves DDRing it up. Nickels (the standard currency) were running low. Seeing as how we only had four left, I, like a man, offered to let Whitney use three of them to play a pretty intense motorcycle game. With one nickel left and it definately belonging to me, I headed off to one last game. Ms. Pac-Man. It is a simple game really. One flees ghosts while eating what seems like an innumerable amount of cheese balls... cheddar... cheese... balls... a lot... just everywhere... The best part of the game is eating the cheese balls in the corner (they are considerably bigger... cheese...) because you then get to eat all the ghosts... tranparent... flavorfull... ghosts. To my alarm, upon reaching the arcade game, I saw that it needed, no, DEMANDED TWO nickels. Really! Where does she get the nerve. Pac-Man would be embarrased. Most games only require one nickel and some are even free. If you pay more than one, brother, then you better freakin' have a gun in your hands or sitting your butt down on a vehicle made for speed. But two nickels to move a joystick?! It's not like there is even a rocket launcher (game patent pending) or something buff like that. Oh, I had the money. There was a quarter sitting in my car just waiting for an opportunity to become anything but laundry money. But I could not stand for this outrage. In a furious RAMPAGE, I layed down some LETHAL ENFORCEMENT by way of a roundhouse kick to the machine and then shoved my last remaining nickel through the eye (he only had one) of the attendant. Yeah! Maybe he'll think better the next time when it comes to pricing his video games. Blindly.