Best Slam of all Time

Please go watch this video before reading any of my blogs. If you do not get the chills then please, go. I have nothing more to offer you. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zldHoEaolhs

Monday, February 11, 2008

Time Paradox

Whitney and I just finished the Back to the Future trilogy (thanks Wendy and Jacob). I forgot how progressively worse those movies got. But is was nice to finally get more of the 80's references since I was too young when they came out. In the second one, however, there is a time paradox that I would like for someone to explain to me. Old man Biff hi-jacks the time machine to give the almanac to young Biff and then returne to the same future he had left. When Doc and Marty (a couple?) realize this, Doc says they can't go back to the future (doh!) because it would now be a totally different one. Hello?! Then how the heck did Biff do it. Am I to believe that Biff has more experience and knowledge of time travel? Maybe he just pushed the button in the car that said "return to original location and dimension". So I throw this question to you the reader to answer. Note: Anybody trying to answer this question seriously will look like an idiot or a communist.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

September 11th in the public Schools


Today in history class, students were taught about the roaring 20's. They learned it yesterday, and they will probably learn it tomorrow as well. In fact, they will be learning about the roaring 20's every day until they graduate. And here is why. Apparantly we don't want to teach our children about anything that happened too long ago or was too tragic to remember. Sounds crazy? Well, that is exactly what has happened in our public schools today with regards to 9/11. Most schools wouldn't recognize or even acknowledge the memory of that most infamous day. I say SCREW THAT! What are we teaching our children if we can't even portray the import of current tragedies and events. CNN certainly has no qualms about teaching them about car bombings and turning our soldiers into baby killers. Oh, I'm sorry, that last one was Obama. I get my cowards mixed up sometimes. Lexington, Concord, Bunker Hill, Saratoga, Valley Forge, Crossing the Delaware, Yorktown, New Orleans, Alamo, Bull Run, Fredricksburg, Gettysburg, Chancelorville, Vicksburg, Antetiem, Appomattox, Lusitania, Verdun, Dunkirk, Pearl Harbor, Tunsinia, D-Day, Sicily, The Bulge, Crossing the Rhine, Midway, Phillipines, Guadalcanal, Wake Island, Okinawa, Liberation of Kuwait... These are just a FEW of the many days of just AMEICA'S history where somebody decided that something was worth a war and worth remembering. It's called freedom and it is brought to you by the heroes of our country's past and I will be damned if I'm going to sit around while a few ignorant, selfish, cowards try to denounce and downplay any of these events, along with the heroes of flight 93, firemen rushing up the stairs, and the lives of thousands of Americans lost and affected by the inhumanely, cowardly attacks upon our soil. So, in MY classroom today, I selected random times and played our National Anthem from my computer as I would stand and salute our Old Glory that represents that past, those heroes. And I will never be as proud of my students as I was when they all joined me at attention and paid respects to those memories for the duration of the anthem. Lest we forget. Lest we forget.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

No duh it's a drought!

It seems that every summer people in Utah start shouting out about this drought we are in. Ok, it's probably true. I mean, Utah IS merely a giant desert covered in under-construction freeways and chapels. So drought is someting we have come to terms with. Water preservation, apparantly, is a different story. Whenever my apartment complex gets the sprinklers going, Whitney and I get into a panic. With lightening speed, we close the door, run to our cars to seal them up, and get in our bathing suits in case we need to go outside. Why? The flood is coming? I think some idiot has planted seeds in the cement and asphault because that seems to be where the comcentration of water hits. Thank heaven we are conserving water on the lawns because I do notice that the grass is fairly dry. That's good. Now we just need to run a candidate for governor under the slogan of "cut back on watering your driveways!" I'd vote for him. Unless of course he was pushing for the soccer stadium.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

No sliding on this field

I am on the Provo City Softball League, Team Strike Four (see Davey's blog). We had our first play-off game yesterday (creamed Ken-Garf Honda) and the field looked like a giant baked brick. It was pretty hard i.e. I heard a couple of guys comment that there would be no sliding today. I even thought that myself. Until I hit the ball through the third base side and as I rounded first I saw no play to second. In fact, the ball was thrown to third. Fools. With my speed turned on, I raced to second base thinking I had it easy. Well, the third baseman recovered quicker than I thought he would and launched the ball to second. Piss! I knew what I had to do to make it safe. with my costocondritus (bruised ribs), I decided I needed to slide more on my side than my belly so down i went..and muttered every single swear word in the book! sources also confirm Whitney letting out various profanities as shw watched. I felt the dirt tear into my skin as I slid to freedom. Oh, I was safe. I had the wounds to prove it. I am now beat up all along my leg, hip, and arm and wince whenever I have to move any of those things. Which, actually, isn't very much when you sleep in till noon. I'd publish a picture with this but the hip wound is a little revealing.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Sweet is the Work

What do job fair, job shadowing, and MUN conference all have in common? Put together, they all mean zero 8th and 9th graders at school. Which also means I have ZERO classes to teach! Which means an easy, relaxing day at the job. I spent my hours next door engaged in a wicked game of Phase Ten, that I won. Ok, in all honesty, I had about 20 students throughout the day but we just chilled and they even played with us. Treats were brought and a good time was had. Sometimes the work of a teacher can really be overloading. But then there are the days when I can write blogs while at "work". I love being a teacher.

Monday, April 23, 2007

I'm too good for this!

I recently discovered that I am too good for many things in this world, namely soccer, ice, ward activities, and "skip-it". This came about when I was looking for a place for Whitney and I to live in. We found a really nice place in Pleasant Grove that was modestly priced but it turned out that I made too much money to live there. I'm just not part of the crowd that they want. I made about $300 too much and the ironic part was that I would actually save more money if I requested that the distrcit pay me less for teaching so I could live in low-income housing. But that's only if you do the math. Anyway, recently I went applying for a summer job at a pest control center looking for sprayers. They just did a job fair at UVSC (I saw Megan there) and were hosting several interview. Not only was the man 40 minutes late, but didn't know what to ask me. There were several times where we just sat there and I wasn't sure if I should get up and leave. Not the brightest firefly, I guess. Well, it's been several days with no phone call so I am guessing that being graduated, having a math-teaching job, and being an all-around genius, I was over-qualified. Sweet! ( I am well aware that I started a sentence with 'well' and that is bad. But if you're not down with that, I got two words for ya...)

Thursday, April 19, 2007

You Better Get Me First

I made all of my students raise their right hands and promise to never bring a gun to school. I also told them that if they do, they better come and take me out first, otherwise, I'll be coming after them (sorry babe). It makes me so mad to hear about how cowards are making all the headlines these days. The only hero stories I've heard was about the proffessor who nobly defended his students, and that came by word of mouth. I listen to the news on the radio during my commutes and never heard a thing about it. By the way, the media got the story all wrong. They said something about the killer being described as a 23 year-old Korean man. Not even close. The individual who went into that school was not a man. He was a little piece of chicken$#*&. I refuse to be put in the same human category as him. There was neither responsibility nor accountability involved. If you want to be brave, go on a shooting rampage at a military base. And you know what, media? I don't want to hear that sick bastards voice or see his devil face so get it OFF the tv and internet. I'm pissed tht Yahoo! homepage had his picture as the headline. Let's give some airtime to people who deserve it. Like off-duty police officers or sefless instructors.